Do you ever get annoyed when someone says “Don’t worry. Be happy!” Easier said than done, right? Our guest, Dr. Paul Jenkins, will teach you exactly what it takes to have a genuinely positive mindset without being phony or cheesy. To actually be sincerely positive about ANY situation or circumstance that arises. Plus, great tools to rid your life of worry and anxiety. How would that be? Tune in now!
Dr. Paul’s Bio:
Dr. Paul Jenkins works with organizations and individuals to establish and maintain habitual patterns of positive perception and focus that increase happiness, engagement, productivity, profit, and ultimate achievement of professional and personal life missions.
With two decades of experience as a professional psychologist, Dr. Paul (as he is known to clients and his audiences) helps you understand your own mind and improve its functioning on purpose.
His deeply thoughtful writing, engaging and fun keynote addresses, powerfully practical breakout seminars, individual and corporate coaching and counseling are profound and simple. His clients, readers, and audiences get an iron grip on powerful Pathological Positivity principles that make an immediate difference in their personal and professional lives.
Chris Miles Bio:
Chris Miles, the “Cash Flow Expert,” is a leading authority showing entrepreneurs and their spouses how to quickly free up and create cash flow and lasting wealth TODAY spending time doing what they love most! He has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate.com, interviewed internationally on TV & radio, and has a high reputation with his company, Money Ripples (https://www.moneyripples.com/) getting his clients fast, life-altering financial results.
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Listen to the podcast here
Pathological Positivity With Guest Dr. Paul Jenkins
I am honored to be here to teach you how to live your life truly abundantly with purpose and passion, and most importantly, how to have true financial prosperity now, not 30,000 or 40,000 years from now. It’s all about how we create the life that you love and the life, the financial ability, and the business that you truly want right now.
As I’m bringing on my guest here, Dr. Paul Jenkins, I want to remind you to be sure to check us out at www.MoneyRipples.com. There are great blogs. We’ve got other podcasts. We’re on iTunes as well, but check out our stuff. Do everything possible to learn what we teach you. We love to give you great few minutes of value here, but we always want to keep serving you and keep creating value for you so that you can truly prosper and become a living, walking testimony to what we have.
Like my company Money Ripples, I want to create a ripple effect, not just a ripple effect through the clients that I work with, but through each of you. As it starts with you and your own personal life, you truly apply these principles and strategies and make them work for you. It creates a ripple effect that goes through you and blesses and prospers your life and blesses your family’s life and your kids, your grandkids, and generations beyond you.
It’s stopping generations of scarcity, not to mention blessing your friends, community, the country, and ultimately around the world. I can’t do it without you, guys. Seriously, this is exactly why I’m here, why I’m doing this, and why I want you guys to be able to get the greatest value possible. It’s my definite privilege to be able to bring on Dr. Paul Jenkins. Let me tell you a little bit about him professionally and maybe a little bit personally, too.
Dr. Paul has been a psychologist. He’s done that for years, but the reason why I love him is that this guy does not focus on the negative aspects of psychology, but we’re going to talk about how to be pathologically positive. You’re not a victim, but a place of true power. He’s got a great book out there called Pathological Positivity and even another book comes out along those same lines. He’s an amazing guy, a radio show host. He’s been at many of my events and spoken at my events. What he teaches is powerful and amazingly awesome that you want to hang on every word that he has.
I do not bring posers to the show. I don’t bring people that are faking it. I bring on the real people that are the real deal and give it to you the way it should be. When it comes to mindset and especially how we need to look at things, which affect everything in our life, including our money in our business, it’s essential to be able to get that under control and understand it. Paul is a master at this.
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Paul, welcome to our show.
Thank you so much, Chris. I’m going to hire you as my publicity director and speech introducer. I’m honored to be on your show. I’ve enjoyed our associations. I’m happy to be here to do some good.
We’re glad to have you on. You got lots of valid offers. Tell us a little bit more about yourself and the path you’ve taken. The thing that impressed me the most about getting to know you is that you didn’t take the traditional path in your field. You took a different path, which is more the higher road. Tell us more about that.
I started on a traditional path. In fact, I had a traditional psychotherapy practice for about thirteen years. I did pretty well with that. It was a good place to be, but there was something that was lacking. I found that a lot of my clients, and inside of my own thinking, realize that there has to be something better than this. I made a shift a few years ago to positive psychology, meaning on the positive end of the spectrum.
If you think of your emotions, your mental health, your psychological life, your relationships, and everything that makes up your psychology on a spectrum, clear over on the left end of the spectrum is the sick hand. That’s where we have the diagnosis, pathology, treatment, and all of that fun stuff. My practice is focused on the other hand. To understand that, maybe we could go to the center first. At the center of this spectrum is health, meaning not sick. You would think that health is the opposite of sick.
If we look at it as being not sick, you could be sick in bed with a fever and throwing up. There comes a time when you can get out of bed and you’re no longer sick, but that doesn’t mean that you’re truly fit, thriving, and prospering. This is the abundant life that we’ve talked about before. That’s the end of the spectrum I’m interested in. That’s what we’re focusing on. When we talk about pathological positivity, that’s the real crux of the book that came out.
Are we all messed up?
Pretty much. It’s a funny question because everybody’s got issues. Welcome to Earth. That’s how we roll here. It doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you, but we get it in our heads sometimes that, “This means that something’s wrong with me.” That’s what we’re trying to challenge in this new way of thinking, or at least in this new focus on the positive end of things. It’s what’s going well, as opposed to what’s not working.
Your feelings come from what you're imagining. Click To TweetIt’s been a lot of fun to make that transition. I’ve seen that a lot of my clients have prospered as a result of turning their focus and mindset. This is probably where we’re going with the idea of mindset. Everything starts with a paradigm or a perception that we carry. When you understand how your mind processes information, it puts you in a position to have a higher level of choice and control over the direction that your mind goes with you.
This show has a lot of people, especially those that are in small businesses or entrepreneurs of that nature, and people looking to improve their lives and make them better. We’re not trying to bring up specific examples due to confidentiality, but where do you see a lot of people getting hung up? Where do they get stuck? That a lot of times might even limit the results we get in business and life in general.
Let’s talk about this mindset idea. That’s where people get stuck first, but that’s also the place where we can create some freedom and new possibilities. This is fun because part of my job is to illuminate the obvious, which is cool. You think about that. I get paid to tell people things they already know and show things they already see. This is cool. A lot of the obvious things are unnoticed. Because of that, it’s outside of our area of choice until it comes into our awareness. For example, the feeling of your shoes, can you feel them now?
I’m barefoot right now, so not really.
You’re at home in your pajamas. Think about your shirt, an article of clothing you’re wearing right now. You couldn’t feel it until I called your attention to it and now you feel it clearly. All of you who are reading, Chris, they’re at home and bare feet, you feel it now, but you didn’t feel it before I mentioned it. At least you didn’t notice it. You were feeling it.
Your nerves are working fine. The fact that we’re speaking English, did you notice? It’s obvious, but unnoticed until it’s called to your attention. That’s the thing that I’m talking about. Our mind operates to process information and has different tasks that we ask it to do. Think of your mind right now as doing some job for you. Whatever it’s going to do for you, you can ask it to do, or it’s going to do automatically, but one way or another, it’s going to step up and do a job for you.
I shared this at one of your seminars where we talked about what is. “It is what it is.” You’ve probably heard that phrase before. That feels a little dismissive or sometimes even annoying to some people. They think, “I throw up my hands. There’s nothing that I can do about it.” I’m talking about this in terms of the real definition of what is. “What is” is where you are. It’s what you have. It’s where you’ve been. It’s the way things are now without anything changing.
Our mind has a task to evaluate what is. We constantly look at our situation, circumstances, relationships, job, finances, whatever it is, and we evaluate them. Is this good or bad? Is this lucky or unlucky? I don’t know. I’ll check. Our mind goes and checks. How can we tell if something’s good or bad, lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate? We have to compare it to something or to some standard. If we don’t have an immediate standard, we go to our imagination. This is one of those obvious, but unnoticed things. We imagine something to compare it to. If I were to ask you, am I a tall man, Chris, what would you say?
It depends. Compared to me, you are, but compared to Mark Eaton or Shaquille O’Neal, you’re short.
It’s funny that you mentioned Mark Eaton because I have a picture of me standing next to Mark Eaton in my book, Pathological Positivity. I put it in there for this purpose, because I stand 6’2”. Compared to most people, that’s pretty tall. Compared to Mark, I’m a shrimp. Mark’s 7’4”. It depends on who you compare it to or what you compare it to.
Our mind has to do this. I want to underscore that. You can’t turn this off any more than you can turn off gravity. Your mind will judge and evaluate your situation and what is. I shared a little scenario with the group that we were speaking to in that seminar about going into a public building. If you go into a public building and while you’re standing there, suddenly a guy comes in with a ski mask and a gun. He starts yelling, how would you feel? Probably upset.
Naturally alarmed or alert.
Maybe nervous, worried, and going to a level of metacognition. Cognition is thinking. Metacognition is thinking about thinking. When we think about our thinking, it creates a little space. In that space is where our choice exists, but we don’t always notice it because it’s one of those obvious, but unnoticed things. Going to this scenario, if the guy comes in with the gun, why would you feel nervous and upset? When we go to the level of metacognition, we can see that we feel nervous and upset because of our imagination. Some people might protest, “The gunman is not imaginary. He’s real.” What are we imagining?
We’re imagining what could happen.
You have the power to imagine something worse or something better is on the way. Click To TweetWhat might happen here? What is he going to do? We don’t know. We’re imagining that. In our imagining of it, we create our own feelings. Notice that your feelings come from what you’re imagining. Keep the metacognition turned on. Let’s go back to the scenario. Unbeknownst to the gunman, the security officer for the building is standing right behind him in the hallway. This cop is thinking, “I don’t think so. Not on my shift, not now.” He leaps and tackles this guy hard, driving him to the floor. In the process, you hear the explosion of a shot from that gun, and then you feel a bullet hit you right in the foot. Did you feel it change right there?
For sure.
Everyone reading, wrap your head around this for a minute. You get shot in the foot. It is what it is. This guy goes off to jail. You go to the emergency room scenario over right there. Your mind kicks into evaluation mode. Is this good or bad? Is this lucky or unlucky, fortunate or unfortunate? I don’t know. I’ll check. Your mind goes and compares it to something. You get shot in the foot. Can you imagine anything better than getting shot in the foot? What would you say?
Yes, not getting shot at all.
That’s not too hard. No gunman comes in. Everything goes as I had planned. Nobody gets shot anywhere. That would be better. As we evaluate our situation and we compare it to that, getting shot in the foot looks pretty darn awful compared to not getting shot. We’re not making it up. It does look bad. Our feelings follow. When did I say you got shot and I paused, and then I said in the foot, what was the feeling?
Relief.
Almost immediate. Why?
It’s like in Dumb and Dumber, when Jim Carrey said, “What if I got shot in the face?”
Your imagination was working on this scenario before you had all of the information. I said you got shot, and then you’re imagining what? Getting shot in the face, in the chest, or in some body part you like better. Compared to that, how does getting shot in the foot look?
Much better.
We’re not making that up either. It does look good compared to those worst things. We all see the news. You hear these stories about twenty people being shot in a theater or half a dozen kids being killed in a school. We don’t like to think about these things, but we can imagine them. Because we can imagine them, we can compare our situation to that. Suddenly, getting shot in the foot looks pretty good. I’m not saying it’s not painful because that’s where we get confused. You asked where people get stuck. It’s when things are painful, difficult, or challenging. We are tempted to say that it’s bad. It’s only bad compared to something better.
When I was going through a tough financial time, I remember thinking it can’t get any worse than this, but then it would get worse. I thought, “I was wrong.” I realized it could always get worse.
That’s probably important to emphasize before we move on. I don’t care where you are or what your situation is, “what is” is always between better and worse. Better and worse are all imaginary because “what is” is all we’ve got in reality. Therefore, how we judge and evaluate it depends on which direction we look to make that comparison. I’m not even asking people to change this. I want you to notice it.
Notice that your evaluation of what is depends on which direction you’re looking. Typically, we’re comparing our situation to something imaginary, something that isn’t, but we can imagine. That’s either better or worse than what we’ve got. Evaluation is only part of what our mind is doing for us. Notice that it’s happening and it’s happening all the time and you can’t turn it off.
We don't have to imagine something worse or something better. We get to choose which one serves us best. Click To TweetLet’s go to creation. Creation is the other task that our mind is doing for us. It’s not a creation of what is. It’s the creation of what is to be. That doesn’t exist yet because we haven’t created it yet. The only place it exists currently is in our imagination. Here’s an interesting little idea. What if I were to give all of our readers right now an assignment?
I want everybody to run outside into the community, take about a half hour, and see if you can make your life worse. What kind of a ridiculous assignment is that? Look how quickly you can imagine half a dozen ways to pull that off. You can imagine your life getting worse and it wouldn’t take a half hour. That’s not what our imagination of something worse is for.
I want to come back to that, but you have the power to imagine something worse or something better is on the way. It’s imaginary because it’s not here yet. How do we feel when we imagine that what’s coming is better than what we’ve already got? If it’s going to be better, I’m feeling good. I’m excited. I’m enthused. I’m stoked about what’s coming that’s even better than what I’ve already got. How do we feel when we imagine that what’s coming is worse?
Despair.
Clinically speaking, this is where anxiety hangs out when we imagine that what’s coming is worse than what we’ve already got. That’s the emotional trap. Do we know what’s coming?
No.
We’re imagining it. When we see that, it puts us in a position of choice. We don’t have to imagine something worse or something better. We get to choose which one serves us best. These two things work in conjunction with each other, evaluation of what is and creation of what is to be. We’ve got this amazing imagination, our mental power of imagination. It has two different ends to it.
Let’s think of it that way for a minute. There are two different ends to the same tool. You can imagine something better and you can imagine something worse. Let’s use the right end of the tool for the right job. It’s like a hammer. On the head of a hammer, there’s this blunt end that you use for pounding nails. The other end looks like a claw. What is its purpose?
To pull the nails out.
You can’t pull nails out using the face of the hammer. You have to use the claw. You shouldn’t try to pound nails using the claw. That doesn’t work well. In the same way, our imagination of something better is not for the purpose of beating ourselves up because we’re not there yet. You think of it, how many times did you run into this? When you’re talking to people about their finances, “How are you doing financially?” They’re like, “It could be better.” Is there ever a time when that won’t be true?
No.
No matter how much money you’re making. Rather than beating ourselves up because we’re not there, what if we were to take a moment and reflect on this truth? This is true of all of your clients. They are in the top 10% of the world’s wealthy. Is that true?
Yes.
You think of all of the people in this world who don’t even have a roof over their heads. They have no idea where their next meal is coming from. How are your finances looking? Pretty good in comparison.
When you’re doing well, it powers up the mind psychologically to really move forward and powerfully create an upgrade from there. Something better is always available. You don’t upgrade because your current life sucks. You upgrade even though it rocks. Click To TweetHow many studies have we heard about people in happiness and at what point are people happy with more money? It’s always above the average of wherever they are. There’s no number other than just above the average.
It’s because of the comparisons. I had a family come in to see me. They’re sitting right here on this couch that I’m looking at. This couple was saying, “We are financially dying here. We’re in a bad position. It’s awful, terrible, horrible, no good, bad.” I said, “How did you get to my office?” What do you think their answer was?
They drove.
They drove a car. I asked them, “Do you have any device that includes a screen?” They have many. I asked them, “Do you know where your next meal is coming from?” They knew. We had to take a few minutes to put this in perspective because when you see that you’re doing well, psychologically, it powers up the mind to move forward and powerfully create an upgrade from there. This is almost self-explanatory, too. When you think about when you’re feeling depressed, defeated, inadequate, and not good enough, how likely are you to go do something productive?
You’re more likely to go make a mess. We’re powerful to create messes. This is fostered primarily by gratitude, by the way. When you can focus on what you’re grateful for, it’s like a switch in your mind. It changes the power. From that place, we can move forward and create an upgrade. I’ll get behind my clients doing an upgrade any day of the week, but it starts with a positive evaluation.
Let’s talk about an upgrade for a minute. I’ve got a phone here. It’s an android Motorola Razr. It’s awesome. It’s amazing. It does more than my first seven computers did. I want an upgrade. Why would I want an upgrade? It’s because an upgrade is available. Something better is available. I don’t want an upgrade because this sucks. I want an upgrade even though this rocks. Can you wrap your head around that?
When we get to that place in our life, where we see that our life is good, “This is awesome. I’m doing well,” and then we clap our hands together and we say, “What’s next?” That’s when we go after the upgrade. From that positive energy, you are more likely to create an upgrade in your life, your finances, and your relationships. Whatever you’re talking about, you see it as good. Be grateful for what you have and then you can move forward and create all kinds of amazing upgrades.
It reminds me of something I learned from a mentor years ago that I had heard. He said this from an Idaho twang hick sound. He said, “I’m not where I want to be, but I’m sure not where I used to be.” If you think about it, he used that evaluation creation so beautifully.
It’s a journey. It’s not a destination. There’s always an upgrade available. I don’t care how well you’re doing. It could be better. It’s like running to the horizon. You can’t go there because it’s not a real place. It’s a tool of thinking.
If you’re going to give one final last tip to the readers, what would you tell them?
You’ve heard it 100 times probably, think positive. Let’s go beyond the trite, fluffy motivational speakers from years past who’ve said that and understand that that is a choice. It happens in these two different phases, evaluation of what is and creation of what is to be. Positive thinking is using that powerful imagination of ours to see that we’re in a good place now and that powers us up to move forward and create something even better.
It’s knowing you could always imagine something worse, being grateful for what it is, and knowing it can only get better.
Why not imagine that and put our creative energy toward that? You’ve probably seen this with your practice that it’s a lot easier to help people make some money, for example, when they’re grateful for the money that they have. It’s like going to the bank when you want to get a loan. You have to prove to the bank that you don’t need the loan and then they’re happy to give it to you.
They only give it to you when you want it, never when you need it. Paul, how would they be able to find you? What’s the best place they can go to check you out?
The easiest place is the website, DrPaulJenkins.com. Also, all of my social media connections are there too. You can go to the upper right-hand corner and click on Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn. Connect that way as well. There’s a free download available for your readers they might go to the website. Register with your email address, and we’ll send you an MP3 recording of the four truths for those who love their life. I would love to provide that. That’s free of charge. That’s where they can link to the podcast and the YouTube station and all that stuff, too.
Thank you so much. That’s great. Take advantage of these four rules. If you were saying, “I want more of this. I like it. I love it. I want some more of it,” check out his book, Pathological Positivity. Check it out, read it, apply it, and make it part of who you are because successful people get this. Whether they can describe it as well as Dr. Paul can or not, they get it. They make it work in their lives. Miracles happen. I can attest to that as well.
A lot of the things that changed for me financially happened by doing the things that Paul had mentioned. The sad thing is I didn’t have him back then. It would have helped a lot more. Who knows? Maybe he would have shaved off a year of suffering. Either way, it was perfect. It was divine. It was great. I’m grateful for it. Dr. Paul, thank you so much for being on the show. You’re awesome.
You’re welcome. Thank you for the invitation
Everyone else, make it a prosperous week. We’ll see you again.
Important Links
- Pathological Positivity
- DrPaulJenkins.com
- Facebook – Dr. Paul Jenkins
- Twitter – Dr. Paul Jenkins
- LinkedIn – Dr. Paul Jenkins
- iTunes – Money Ripples Podcast