Prospering With Your Spouse Part 2 With Carolyn Norris | 49

Last week, we heard from Rebel Entrepreneur Gary Norris about their “mess to success” story.

But what about the wife’s perspective? And what was it that earned her trust and got her on board with Gary to make them a powerhouse team?

Join us as Chris Miles interviews Carolyn Norris, the other half of this dynamic duo in Strongbrook, and gets her side of the story. Amazing nuggets for anyone struggling to get the support of their spouse. Listen now!!!

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Carolyn Norris Bio

Carolyn Norris is an accomplished author, motivational speaker, and life coach. She is the author of From Victim to Victor of the Move Your Universe Series and a featured author in the bestselling book Entrepreneur on Fire with Barbara Corcoran on the hit reality TV series SharkTank. Carolyn is passionate about helping others successfully navigate through their challenges to create an EXTRAORDINARY life. In addition to being an Og Mandino Coach, Carolyn is a certified Life Success Consultant through Bob Proctor and a Conscious Creator Belief Breakthrough Coach through Strongbrook.

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Chris Miles Bio

Chris Miles, the “Cash Flow Expert,” is a leading authority showing entrepreneurs and their spouses how to quickly free up and create cash flow and lasting wealth TODAY spending time doing what they love most! He has been featured in US News, CNN Money, and Bankrate, interviewed internationally on TV & radio and has a high reputation with his company, Money Ripples getting his clients fast, life-altering financial results.

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Listen to the podcast here

 

Prospering With Your Spouse Part 2 With Carolyn Norris

I’m loving having you on here. Remember, our whole thing is about how to have greater freedom, prosperity and better quality of life right now, not years from now. It’s all about now and how to have that life. In essence, what I love to have you do, especially those of you that are in your businesses or doing what you love, I want you to keep doing what you love because you love it and not because you have to. It’s all about creating that freedom.

It’s going to be a wonderful opportunity. We’re going to have Carolyn Norris on here in a moment. As a reminder, be sure to visit us at MoneyRipples.com. Check out blogs. We’ve got other podcasts here too and great events coming up. Awesome things are happening. I would love to have you be a part of it. Be sure to check that out, keep building that education that you have and keep that momentum going.

The biggest thing we want you to do is to take action because the whole reason that this show exists is we want to create that ripple effect of prosperity throughout your life, your family’s lives and generations beyond you. Have that ripple out, be it to your community, friends, family, country and across the world. That ripple effect begins with you first and foremost. We are the ones that have to start living that life of prosperity. If we don’t live it, no one else will. That’s what I’m excited about. I want to create that ripple effect. I have that goal to save people $1 billion over the next few years. It’s a big task and undertaking. I want it to start through your life now.

We’ve got Carolyn Norris on. Some of you might recall we’ve had an interview with Gary Norris previously, her husband. I figured I would bring on his better half onto the show because I thought it was a good thing to have the other perspective especially of the spouse of what was going on in her head as they were going through what they were going through, where they are and the success that’s led them to where they are. I’ll tell you a little bit about Carolyn. She’s an accomplished author, a motivational speaker and a life coach. She’s the President of Mindset Cashflow Solutions. I love cashflow.

She’s also the author of From Victim to Victor and a featured author on the bestselling book, Entrepreneur on Fire with Barbara Corcoran who you might remember from Shark Tank. Carolyn is passionate about helping others successfully navigate through their challenges to create an extraordinary life. In addition to being an Og Mandino Coach, Carolyn is a certified Life Success Consultant through Bob Proctor.

Along with some of the stuff that I do, she’s also a Conscious Creator Breakthrough Coach through Strongbrook. Carolyn has mentored in consulted groups and individuals ranging from small business owners to multimillionaires. She found the Strongbrook Women’s Empowerment Group, which provides a powerful environment to develop and share entrepreneurial skills and ideas.

In her spare time, Carolyn finds joy in singing and writing songs. I’ve heard her sing. It’s cool to see her do that. She lives here in Utah with us and loves creating memories with her husband and her three kids. One thing I say about her on a personal level is that I admire her personal power, her passion for life, her zeal and her ability to make something great. She’s a force to be reckoned with. As I say on this show all the time, I don’t bring on poses. I bring on real people that get real-life success and real results.

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Carolyn, welcome on.

Thank you, Chris. First of all, I want to say how awesome you are. Thank you for this opportunity to even get to speak to your fans. You’re an amazing person that is genuine, kind and real. I have enjoyed every moment that I’ve had to be able to work with you. Thank you.

It goes both ways. Thank you so much. Carolyn, tell us a little bit about you. I’m curious to know, were you always raised with these principles or did you have to learn them?

I was raised so far away from these principles. It’s amazing that I ever found them. It makes me laugh so hard because my family was so against sales, marketing, networking, social or anything. They were extremely closed-minded that way. Everything was academia like go get your PhD. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m into higher education too but it was very focused on going to college and getting that job that was going to make you secure for the rest of your life. That’s how I was raised.

They were telling you to live a checklist life.

It’s very checklist. Don’t think out of the box, minimal risk-thinking. You need to be wise and cautious but it was to the point that you would never be able to reach your full potential in that little box ever.

Life goes on. You end up meeting and marrying Gary. How long have you guys been married?

We have been married on March 10th, 2014. I can’t even believe that. I’m wowed, especially with how people think about marriage. It’s a very challenging experience. I understand that for certain reasons sometimes that needs to dissolve but the incredible victory that can be felt with working through some of those huge challenges that you think will never go away is a beautiful thing.

Tell us about this. You and Gary are a dynamic duo, working within Conscious Creator as well as with Strongbrook. Has it always been that way?

Leaders show up. They make mistakes, but they keep going. Click To Tweet

That’s so funny. I can’t even imagine. My husband is an amazing man. Now that I’ve joined him or invaded his workspace, my admiration for him has gone up one million times over and for men in general. My appreciation for men for what they do and deal with every day, the fact that they’ve got to make it happen, the decisions that they have to make, all these things that I wasn’t as aware of or took for granted but I have a truly deep appreciation for good men across the world for what they face every day and their courage.

I was in that job mentality. As Gary and I had some experiences which he probably shared when you interviewed him, we had some experiences where he was into the entrepreneurial thing and I was dragging my feet every bit of the way because it was so scary to me. I still wanted to be a supportive wife and I would support him on at least some of the ventures. In the last big venture that went south that we had, some things happened where I didn’t agree with the choices that he was making about it.

I felt differently about it. I wanted to choose out and he kept moving forward in a direction I didn’t appreciate. There was a lot of anger between us. When our partners chose to embezzle us for almost $250,000, I wasn’t happy. I was sitting there thinking, “All our finances are destroyed. Our credits were destroyed. Everything is a disaster.” I was feeling in a huge victim space of, “He did it against my will and here I am. I got to suffer the consequences.”

You felt, “I’m suffering not because of me but you didn’t listen to me. It’s because of his actions, not mine.”

I felt helpless. It’s so fantastic to help me get out of this sick victim mentality because as I have joined him in working with Strongbrook and everything, I’m not condoning the choices that he made. I was saying, “I don’t feel good about this.” At the same time, I understand so much more that when you’re the man, you’re out there. You got to make it happen, make these choices and get it going. At least from this perspective, I can see it differently.

I realize there was never an intent to hurt me. It was him trying to do something that he felt would be good for our family and it didn’t turn out. With that understanding, I was able to pop out of it a lot. He knew he had made some choices that hurt me so a lot of guys would wimp out and be like, “That’s the way it is. People end up getting divorced and stuff.” He manned up.

In our company, there’s an opportunity to get serious bonuses. He earned one of those bonuses of a $35,000 check. That was his way of showing me, “I messed up but here I am.” After he did that, he created a beautiful space for me to snap out of my stuff and make a choice. I had a powerful choice to make at that point. We weren’t out of debt or anything. It wasn’t like it fixed everything but I could stay stuck and bitter or grab onto his coattails. He manned up so I can warm it up again. I was like, “I’m all in. I’m in for the ride. Let’s do this together. I love you. Thank you for showing up and I’m showing up too.”

Let’s go back to that moment because that was a big turning point for you guys. You went to the first convention that Strongbrook had put on. He was getting presented with a check. Did you know he was getting that check? Did he say he was going to get that presented on stage? Is that right?

 

That’s a funny story because it wasn’t just our finances but our children were having severe issues. I ended up getting PTSD and severe depression. You have to realize he’s a salesman that’s always living at the top of the funnel, in the possibility and everything. That is great because I understand that so much better, how you need to stay positive and up at that top of the funnel. Sometimes as a wife, it’s challenging because a lot of times the wives are dealing with the bottom of the funnel and what’s coming out and it might not necessarily be matching the top.

With that dynamic in our marriage, Gary would say a lot of things. It wasn’t because he was trying to lie to me or say something that wasn’t true. He was living in the possibility up there and it wouldn’t necessarily pan out. When he was telling me that he was getting this $35,000 check, I was like “Yeah, whatever.” That sounds horrible but honestly, we had been through so much. My mind was so foggy. If you’ve never had depression, I don’t know how to explain it but it was so fogged and so unclear.

When he was saying stuff to me, it was going right over my head. It was not processing and sinking in. It wasn’t until the very night that I knew that he was supposedly getting this check the next day. I didn’t even realize it was at this big convention-type thing. I don’t think I got that. I knew he was getting presented for his work. I was out of the loop but I remember telling my son, Preston, saying, “If this is true and real and dad’s getting this and none of us are even coming, I’m feeling bad.”

I was still in that, “There’s nothing I can do,” type of space. Thank heavens, my son hadn’t quite adopted that yet. As I’m saying this to my son, he’s like, “Mom, we can still go.” I’m like, “It’s in Las Vegas and we have a dog. He’s like, “We can still do it. Sasha can come with us.” That’s my daughter. “She can help you drive.” He was all excited about it and I’m like, “Let’s do it.

That was a monumental pivotal point in our life decisions. We packed the dog and took him to a doggie spa the whole time we were there. We went and were close to having two severe car wrecks on the way there. We were spinning across the freeway on the ice. It’s a pure miracle that we ended up there. We arrived and were in the hallway. We showed up right before he got the check. It was amazing how it all played out.

Did Gary know you were here by this point?

I don’t know. I don’t think he knew we were here. Sasha had texted him something about the address of the hotel but she gave him some other excuse why she needed it. He didn’t know until we were in the back of the room. He was freaked out. He is getting awarded this check. Chris, the president of our company, sees us. He has us come up and be on stage with him. It changed every single thing in my life from there on out. It has been like a fairy tale. Those are the moments where you get some guts and you do something. It was awesome.

Since that time, what are some big lessons you’ve learned that allow you to work together best?

Get out of your victim story. You make the changes that you need to in your life and stop blaming anybody else for the state that you're in. You're in charge of making your life amazing. Click To Tweet

Me admiring and understanding him has been huge. That’s been a big perk because men need that so much. They need to feel appreciated, loved and understood by their wives. Not to say that every wife has to get involved with their husband’s work to do that. You don’t have to. It’s that admiration piece and understanding of what they’re doing for you in your life. That helped. It hasn’t been perfect. We’ve had some bumps in the road. It’s a huge gift and shows what a great man my husband is with the fact that he’s willing to let me be in his workspace so strongly.

I am a powerhouse-type woman. It’s not like I’m going to be sitting in the back saying, “Yay team,” or something. For him to be willing to give me the space to grow and bloom as a leader was awesome. Honestly, I had no idea that this person inside of me was in there exactly. In my soul, I felt like there was all this potential but then I got married and got into this marital round of serious dysfunction. It seemed like all that potential was stuck in there.

When I had this opportunity to bloom in this great environment, it’s been a surprising ride, maybe possibly for both of us and for Gary to be like, “I had no idea that was in there.” He’s been surprised somewhat. For instance, he’s been so kind because as I have been developing as a leader, I kept failing and making mistakes but I would keep going. I was like, “This is how you feel as a leader. You’re always messing up but you keep doing it.”

There was this one time when I don’t even remember the mistake I made but I made some mistakes. I felt like it was in leadership that I botched it or something. I came home. Even as powerful as I am in the workspace and all that, I still have those moments of being a vulnerable woman that wants my husband to love me. I was crying and I told him, “A leader doesn’t show up like that.” I was so upset with myself.

He was so sweet and kind. He gave me a big hug and was like, “Carolyn, that’s exactly how leaders show up. They make mistakes and keep going.” Gary said that to me opened up a whole new ability for me to keep failing forward. That mindset helped me become the person I am. Without all those mistakes, learning from him and growing from him, I wouldn’t be that person. That has been a cool thing. It was a beautiful gift that he gave me.

What’s the last thing you would recommend either for a wife supporting her husband or even for a husband trying to support his wife? What would you say would be the best piece of advice you would give?

I would give two pieces of advice. The very best is to become personally accountable. Get out of your victim’s story. You make the changes that you need to in your life. Stop blaming anybody else for the state that you’re in. You’re in charge of making your life amazing and nobody else is. Your spouse is not there to do that. You’re there to show up in a great way for them. That would be my first piece of advice. My other piece of advice would be that you don’t have to join your husband or wife in the workspace to have this deep sense of admiration, love and kindness. You can do it wherever you are.

From a wife’s point of view, even though she’s not going to work with her husband, it helps so much if she shows some interest in what he’s doing, asks about it and is there as a support to recognize what he faces every day and appreciate that. It can go both ways for the husband. If your wife is working, you can get involved in what she’s doing, support her and admire the great leadership thing she’s doing and working out of her comfort space. All of those moments of encouragement go so far.

 

For the husband that has a stay-at-home wife, it is challenging to feel like you’re an amazing woman when you have changed diapers all day long, yet you’re doing an incredible thing for this world. To step into that space and try to understand what she’s been feeling all day and recognize her for her contribution to the world, even though the world does not honor that. Loving each other, trying your best to understand each other and admiring each other is so important.

That’s great advice. Thank you so much, Carolyn. If someone wanted to connect with you or want to learn more about what you and Gary do with Strongbrook, what would be the best route they could do?

They can connect with us on Facebook. That would be good. Look up Carolyn Norris or Gary Norris on Facebook. That would be awesome. We also have a website, GetYourRebelOn.com. They can connect with us in that way. We also have a radio show. You’ll have to ask Gary how to get connected on that.

You’ll probably find it through GetYourRebelOn.com too. Carolyn, thank you so much. This has been a huge wealth of experience and wisdom that you’ve given us. I’ve been blessed. I’m sure a lot of people who read this have been blessed as well. Thank you so much.

Thank you. I appreciate you and the opportunity to be on your show. It was fun.

For the rest of you, thanks for reading. Make sure to take these things. Don’t be a hearer of the word but be a doer of the word. Make sure to take this, apply it in your life and make this happen. Find ways to become that rock-solid person. Become that person where you’re not a victim. You’re coming out as the hero and not the victim. We’ll talk to you later.

 

Important Links

• Carolyn Norris
• Gary Norris – Past Episode
• Mindset Cashflow Solutions – Facebook
• Entrepreneur on Fire
• Gary Norris – Facebook
• Radio Show – The Rebel Entrepreneur Show!