Best Ways To Overcome The Naysayers In Your Life | 132

I love the holidays, don’t you?

At the same time, isn’t it interesting that the closest people to you can become the biggest naysayers? How do you deal with them?

In this episode, I (Chris Miles) share a very vulnerable episode where I share an email I received from a naysayer, and how I’ve dealt with them over the last 15 years of business.

Tune in now!

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Chris Miles Bio

Chris Miles, the “Cash Flow Expert,” is a leading authority on how to quickly free up and create cash flow for thousands of his clients, entrepreneurs, and others internationally! He’s an author, speaker, and radio host that has been featured in US News, CNN Money, Bankrate, Entrepreneur on Fire, and has spoken to thousands getting them fast financial results.

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Listen to the podcast here

 

Best Ways To Overcome The Naysayers In Your Life

I’m here to tell you that I’m excited about our show and thankful, especially during this Thanksgiving time of year. I want to wish everybody Happy Thanksgiving ahead of time. I want to be able to say thank you so much for being part of my show. Thank you for making it bigger and better. You’re asking great questions. Allow me to give you great content. Allow me to serve you. Allow me to be here for you. It’s such a privilege and honor to know that you would take your time to be a part of this. Thank you so much.

To remind you, there’s always more. If you run a show, there are always some blogs I’ve done before in the past, although I don’t write them as much anymore. I’ve got events. I’ve got all kinds of ways that I can keep serving you. Let me know if you’ve got questions for me at Chris@MoneyRipples.com. Shoot me an email. I’m more than willing to serve you and help answer questions.

This time of year always brings up the best in people. The holiday season brings out the best and the worst. It’s the best because it’s that time of year when you start to be grateful this time of year, especially with Thanksgiving coming up. There’s also Christmas, and people tend to have that magic. There’s that special feeling in the air where people are a little bit nicer typically. There’s also the madness that goes with it. There are also family and things like that.

Especially during the holiday season, the most stressful thing is not so much as the shopping as the people that are in your life, the family, the people that come over, the people that don’t understand what you’re doing. If you’re reading this, you’re probably a little bit odd anyways. You’re probably an entrepreneur, someone who’s doing things differently, the likes to go against the grain. You’re even someone who’s maybe an investor, and you are already going against the grain. You see other people doing the average thing. They’re putting their money in 401(k)s and IRAs. They’re doing all that normal stuff. They take a peek into your life, and they think you’re crazy.

I’m here to tell you that I’m right there with you. I love it. I want to talk to you about how to deal with naysayers particularly. This is inspired by a few things. One was by an email that someone had sent me through my website a little bit anonymously. I’m going to read it for you, guys. I’m going to be vulnerable in how I read and share this with you.

Another one is regarding a video that I saw. It came from social media. It was on Goalcast. Salma Hayek had done a little video. They did a clip of Salma Hayek talking about people in her life that are naysayers. I love what she said. This is going to kick this conversation off now. She said, “If you make mistakes, few people point out that you made mistakes. Do you know what you tell them? You say, ‘So what?’ Today is today, but tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is a new opportunity.” She says, “So what if I screwed up? That’s okay. It’s my mistake, not yours. I’ll deal with it. You deal with your own stuff.”

Today is today, but tomorrow is another day. Tomorrow is a new opportunity. Click To Tweet

Letter From A Naysayer

I love the attitude that she had because it reminded me of the email that I got a few weeks ago. I have been debating about whether or not to share this with you or not because they’re attacking me pretty harshly. In the last couple of years, especially the last year and a half or so, I have learned to develop some thicker skin. I learned to stand in a greater power, be confident and at peace of who I am, do what’s right, and go by the dictates of your own conscience.

I truly believe that you should be doing that. You should be doing what you know is right. It’s interesting that this person comes up with their thing here. I’m going to read this email to you right now. It’s an email that wasn’t even a true email. I went and googled this. I searched on social media. I looked through my email list. Nowhere could I find this email address. I’m not going to share it with you because there’s no reason to, but I appreciate this.

It’s interesting because it was sent from my website. The title was Featured on CNN Money. I thought it was a journalist or somebody in the media that had written a piece, or they were asking a question about it. When I opened it, to my shock, it wasn’t that at all. It was an anonymous email from someone with a fake email address or at least a created one that they use, but it’s not publicly used. Here’s what they said. This is fun.

They said, “Hi, Chris. I think it’s disingenuous to claim that you were featured on CNN Money when that article talks about your foreclosure. It also goes against your claim that you retired at 28, which any clear-minded person knows is a lie. Sometimes it’s easy to try to take a shortcut to build wealth with schemes, etc. I cringed when I watched the videos you have of good, honest people being swindled by your cashflow management tips, and your poor wife, trying to raise all these kids with her husband being a snake oil salesman.” Referring to my ex-wife. “You know deep down that it’s all bogus. Please, for the sake of your own ethics, give it up and get an honest job. Your integrity isn’t worth the BS.” When they signed off, it was not with the name that said. It was signed off, “Someone that worked with you in the past.”

I love how they say, “Get a job.” Sometimes people will tell me, “I have a family tell me I should get a job. I wonder if I should.” Even though I make six figures in my business, I still get told by certain people I should give up my business and get a job. I have been in business for now almost fifteen years, and they’re still saying that. That was her thing, and they put in some links of the CNN money or whatever. I don’t know why they put those in, but they did some Google search and copied and pasted. It’s weird.

Here’s my reply to whoever this person is, “Disingenuous? Using a fake email to hide your identity isn’t disingenuous? Deep down, I’m at peace with everything I say. I was able to retire at 28. I came out of retirement six months later to teach what I had learned. I got severely impacted by the Great Recession when people couldn’t afford to pay me anymore. Foreclosed our home. I learned lots of lessons to get my money in order despite a $1 million-plus debt hole. I paid the bulk of that back by selling off assets, working my tail off, cutting back on necessary expenses, etc. All of these, I tell people in interviews and I have written about it.”

 

I said, “Since 2010, I have tracked my clients’ progress. Based on recommendations, the average one finds nearly $34,000 per year in savings or earned income. That doesn’t include people that have taken my advice but not worked with me personally. I’ve got lots of people who have shared that with me. I also pay my ex exactly the child support and alimony she asked for mediation. I know you haven’t worked with me or know me. Otherwise, you would know this. Thank you for reminding me of that. Despite the hardships I’ve gone through, I have a real, significant story that has served a lot of people in very real ways.” That’s how I signed off.

There Will Always Be Naysayers

There was no reply to that email. Here’s the thing. No matter what stage of life you’re in and no matter where you are, there are going to be people that don’t agree with you. There will be people that will hate on you. There will be people that, for whatever reason, will believe false things about you, all kinds of things. It’s not our job to change that.

The reason why I am passionate about this particular is because before, two years ago, this would have drastically affected me. Even two years ago, I was someone who would give you whatever you wanted. I want to be the person that tried to please you. It’s like, “Do you want to learn about this? Great, I’ll teach you about that.” I still do that. I do request, but I also do it now what I feel right to do, what feels like based on my gut is the right thing to do and the right things to teach. Even like this one, I felt like now is the time, especially with politics and upheaval. I had to wait until after that was over because I knew there was too much emotion going on and negativity. I waited for that to die down before I published the show.

All of this has got to be about what you do and not based on what other people tell you to do. One thing that is important to remember is that the path that you choose is your path. It doesn’t have to look like my path or anybody else’s path. It doesn’t have to look like a mentor, whoever you might have hired, or a coach. If you’ve hired someone like that, it doesn’t have to be their path.

I even tell my own clients like, “If your gut tells you not to take my advice, don’t do it.” Granted most advice I try to give makes sense. Every once in a while, you might have something come up that you don’t feel right about it. Maybe there’s some weird life emergency that happens. Afterward, you’re glad you listened to your intuition there, and you started listening to what felt right to you.

I love when people like to try to throw in little things. Most times, people try to attack you with their half-truths, and that can affect you the most. For example, Featured on CNN Money, it talked about your foreclosure when she mentioned that. I presume it’s a she. It could be a he. Who knows? I picture it as more of a she based on the emotion that was behind this article. This is similar to the ones that I’ve gotten from other people who have sent me Facebook messages from time-to-time, especially around the time that I got divorced.

The path that you choose is your path. It doesn't have to look like anybody else's path. Click To Tweet

They talked about my foreclosure. You’re right, that’s a big part of my story. Where I learned a lot of my lessons was from the crap that I went through. That’s why many of you like what I teach because you know I do not come from a place of judgment, but I come from a place of being where some of you have been or currently are, or a place that you’ve never hoped to be, which is awesome. That’s perfect.

I learned a lot of tools and got resourceful because of that. They’re like, “It goes against a claim about you retiring at 28, which clear-minded person knows it’s a lie.” No, I was able to retire by June of 2006. Then by July of 2006 I realized, “I could quit my job as a stock coach doing what I was doing for a few hours a week.” I love how they talked about shortcuts of building walls for the scheme, etc.

Whatever they believe, see and perceive, it says a little about you and more about them. It talks more about what’s going on in their heads. Many people try to tell me, whether it’s about me personally or about somebody else that has money or wealth, for example. They had done it through evil schemes, lying, cheating, stealing, or whatever it might be. Those are the people you should be watching out for.

Those are the people that most likely believe that the only way to wealth is by doing those things. If they’re someone that is in business or even if they have a job, be careful. These are probably the people that will lie, cheat or steal. That’s what you’ve got to worry about. They feel like they’ve got to get ahead. They’ve got to do those things. They forget that principles govern the universe and govern our lives. If you want to create wealth that lasts, you get to be someone who’s serving people. That’s about helping and creating value, not screwing people over.

I love how she’s talking about the people being swindled by my cashflow management tips. I’m not even sure how people can be swindled by learning cashflow tips. I don’t know. You’ve probably heard them. If you’ve gone back far enough or gone to some of the first episodes, there they are. I’ve taught those tips over and over. People have saved so much money. I love that talking about being a snake oil salesman and everything else.

This is how I know this is somebody who didn’t work with me because if they have worked with me, they would know like, “It works.” Even the people that might have been fresh out with their process still were like, “I need to implement some things that I didn’t.” That’s what they’re going to admit. It’s ridiculous what’s here. Even I give this crap from time to time, and I’m sure you do too. If you have people that come to you, maybe it’s during the holidays or whatever it is, they think you’re crazy. Here are a few things you can do to help with that.

 

Don’t Go Casting Your Pearls Before Swine

Number one, here are some ways I’ve responded to people when they’ve done this. This has happened to me throughout my entire time of doing the path I’ve been on, especially as I became an entrepreneur. If they start naysaying you, smile and go about doing it quietly. If you’ve ever read anything from Napoleon Hill like Think and Grow Rich, The Master-Key to Riches, and books like that, he rarely shares anything with the typical public of what his goals are, what his objectives are, or what he’s going to accomplish. He shares it with a few people that are in his mastermind and people of the same caliber.

Don’t go casting your pearls before swine. Don’t go saying your goals to people for the sake of saying goals because you’re excited. Say it to the right people because there are going to be people that are going to poo-poo all over your dreams. They’re going to try to poop all over yourself and give you advice that you don’t need.

I had a family member like if somebody married into that family. He was trying to counsel me on money. He’s like, “I took an Economics class in my freshman year of college, and I got an A in that class. I know that my 401(k) is pretty awesome.” I did the number two. The next thing I’m going to do is to ask questions. He’s like, “401(k) is awesome. You can’t beat that match.”

He was thinking he was getting 12%. I was like, “I’m sorry, but 401(k) is never getting 12%. You’ll never be able to retire with a 401(k).” He’s like, “What do you mean?” I’m like, “It doesn’t work. You can never save enough to make enough.” Those things have been proven not to work. He’s like, “What’s the option?” I was like, “There are plenty of options out there.” I smiled and he was like, “Like what?” I was like, “If something you thought was true and it wasn’t, why would you know I know about it?” That was the question I gave him, and I walked away because the thing is, what could be better than 401(k)? If somebody thought it was true and it wasn’t, why would you want to know about it?

Sometimes, people aren’t even in the place where they want to know. Don’t try to correct them. Don’t try to tell them to do it. That’s why one option is to smile, go about doing your thing and accomplish the things that you want. I have a lot of in-laws and family members who had no clue what I did for a profession. They knew I did something with money, but they didn’t even know what that was. I didn’t bother telling them. I didn’t even take the time. I was like, “If they care, want to know, and are curious, they will ask.” They never did.

That’s the funny thing. People assume they knew what I did. A lot of times, they came back to me. I’m like, “That’s not even close.” It was like something that I did ten years ago. They thought I was still a financial advisor teaching the same stuff. No, not at all. They will come up with stuff or maybe they even try to come up with advice and say like, “I think it’s like this.” I’m like, “Why do you say that? What makes you say that?” If you’re going to go by your gut on this, sometimes you go by your intuition of what works best because sometimes, it’s not even worth engaging in a conversation. Every once in a while, I had people where they’ve asked things.

If you know you’re doing something that has value, don't worry about what other people say. Do it your way and do it the way that you know works. Click To Tweet

I had another family member. We went out to lunch and he said, “Chris, this sounds great, but I don’t know if I buy it because I think people make way too much money. I don’t think people should be making that much money. It should be going to the poor. It should be going elsewhere. Let me tell you an example.” He told me an example of a guy that was in Salt Lake City. It’s a well-renowned guy. I won’t tell you the name, but people would know him. He makes about $300,000 a year with his investments there in Salt Lake City, renting out the homes and stuff out there.

I said, “He doesn’t need me to make that much money. Why not?” He’s like, “It’s because it’s not right somebody makes that much money.” I said, “Is he doing something wrong?  Did he do something unethical? Is he stealing? Is he holding the gunpoint and making the people rent from him?” “No.” “What says that he’s not doing a great service, and he’s making money off it? What’s wrong with that?” He’s like, “He doesn’t need that much money.” I told him, “You told me you made over $100,000 a year at your job. You don’t even need that much. If that’s true, why don’t you go to your boss and ask them to give you a pay decrease?” I remember he had a small little smile, this little smirk creeping up on his face.

Many times, people can be stumped by focusing on principals and attacking the principals. People will ask me, “How do I say this to the financial advisor?” First, you don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to justify yourself. Secondly, if any advisor tries to throw out they are smart, bring up real principles, bring up things that are timeless truths. That’s when I start asking things like, “High risk, high return. A higher chance of losing means I get a more chance of winning? Does that mean I would lose more? That doesn’t make sense.”

When you start to bring common sense into it, most people can be confounded. They can be stumped. That’s where questions are good. That stumped him. He became one of my first clients even before I retired. When I was teaching people from my home, he was one of the first people that said, “I’m willing to listen.” He did not ask for a pay decrease.

Be At Peace With Yourself

True principles work. Sometimes asking questions, especially when they are double standards. We’ve seen a ton, especially with politics and everything. People are saying, “These people are bigots.” They become a bigot themselves. That stuff shoots down. That’s where the number three comes in. This is where you can possibly be at peace.

If someone does this, and if you feel prompted to respond, even though I would say the majority of the time I don’t respond. I don’t even care. I ask a little questions, and I smile and walk away. There are times that I want to stand up just like I did with that email. The first thing you do is be at peace with it and be at peace with yourself. It’s okay if you’ve ever had doubts.

 

A couple of years ago, I was having doubts about myself. I’m like, “Am I full of it? Am I helping anybody?” That had nothing to do with what I was doing. That was my own self-doubt. That was the stuff that I had been carrying since childhood. It’s my own stuff and baggage. I was like, “Am I doing anything? I have had people that have been good friends and that have been influential coaches in people’s lives, and popular people doing great work that I doubted. I remember one person in particular. She had two people that did not like her coaching. Two people out of hundreds. Those two people stuck with her.

I know other people that are like, “Am I a charlatan? Am I a fraud? I feel like I’m a fake sometimes.” Everybody goes through that. Everybody wonders if things are that way. There are entrepreneurs that, even if they aren’t teachers necessarily, they go and do a job or a service. I have had those entrepreneurs say, “I feel bad because people think I’m more successful than I really am.” That’s fine. That’s okay because that’s more you than it is them.

The crazy thing is when I see those people. I had people that are the most successful people that I work with. They don’t care. They still have their doubts too. They have their own baggage, dirt, and stuff. Sometimes I’m like, “Maybe I teach things too simply.” I had a guy and I laughed when he was telling me. Not because I was disrespecting him, in fact I respect his opinion very much. He was a surgeon. I taught him about some interest-type things like compound interest but a different spin on it, how you can bank your life insurance and do some cool things with it.

He’s an investor and made millions of dollars. He’s like, “Chris, I’m a surgeon. What you said seems too smart for me. I’ll give you another piece of feedback, Chris. I went to your website. You didn’t seem that smart.” He went and trashed my website. I laughed because I agreed with them. I’m like, “You’re right. I do have that whole design redone. I have a design done. I just got to do it. I was prioritizing other things first. I appreciate that feedback. I need it.” That kind of feedback, he was trashing my site. He was like, “I hope you don’t mind.” I’m like, “Not at all.”

He was more worried about it because sometimes people do worry about that stuff, but I wasn’t. I was like, “I love the feedback. Thank you. I know it needs to be redone.” The thing is I hadn’t stopped him completely. It was what I said, the interviews I did, and the things I was taught that attracted him to work with me that way.

We all have our naysayers. We all got this stuff. When I say deep down, I know what I’m doing helps people. Do you know what you’re doing is a value? Do you truly know? Ask yourself that. Don’t think about it necessarily, but feel what’s right. Go with what’s right. Don’t worry about what other people will say. Do it your way and do it the way that you know works.

If you are someone that maybe are out of integrity, and you’re doing things that is lying or cheating in some way, fix it and stop it. It’s not worth it. People do not last in business doing that stuff, but if you’re the type of person like I imagine most of you are because I don’t track people that aren’t in integrity. I get people that are real people. I love that you guys reach out to me when you do because I get the coolest people ever that come to me.

If you’re the type of person that you are sincere, you are trying to help people, and you’re about service and making a difference, do it. Don’t let anybody hold you back. Don’t let people stop you from that. Imagine how much of a loss, many hundreds if not thousands and tens of thousands of people would have, if they hadn’t had those “cashflow management tips” that they were talking about, and if they didn’t have that, how many millions of dollars would have been lost? Had they not learn the stuff that I taught? I decided that I should take their advice, go get a job and make less money than I’m making now. That’s bull crap. Don’t go with that. Don’t believe that stuff. Do what you know is right. If those naysayers are there, love them. Be at peace and smile. Even if you’re just telling yourself, “I’m doing good work,” that’s what matters. Everybody, have a great prosperous week. We’ll see you later.

 

Important Links

• Chris@MoneyRipples.com
• Think and Grow Rich
• The Master-Key to Riches